


Tomorrow's Veneer

by Zandra_Court



Series: bb!verse-Zandra Interpretation [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, bb!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zandra_Court/pseuds/Zandra_Court
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after a witch's curse turned their vessels into children, Balthazar, Gabriel and Castiel are now pre-teens.  A possible reversal spell causes Castiel to take matters into his own hands, which never, ever ends as well as he hopes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow's Veneer

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Friggin' Witches](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/22602) by vickjawn. 



> An AU for the AU [Friggin' Witches](http://askspnbbverse.tumblr.com/), a tumblr webcomic by vickjawn. Her story is currently on hiatus, so this is a tangent off her storyline.

_Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. ~ Evan Esar_

Castiel crammed his nine year-old vessel into the crawl space that ran under the floor of the sitting room. Bobby's house was pretty old, but had been retro-fitted with spaces like the panic room in the basement. While exploring, he, Balthazar, and Gabriel had discovered a small opening under the deck that used to lead to a sump pump, now was a tunnel that allowed them to hide-out under the first floor. If they crawled along the west side until they were near the fireplace, they could hear everything being said in the small room next to the kitchen.

It had been five years since a witch had cast a spell on him and his brothers, reverse-aging their vessels into small children. Apparently, the spell only reset their ages because their three vessels had proceeded to grow at normal human rates. Gabriel, being oldest, was now 13, and Balthazar, 11. They had managed to avoid having to go to school by registering as "home schooled". Every quarter, a woman from the Sioux Falls School District would come out to the junk yard and evaluate their "progress". Each time she would compliment Sam on what a wonderful job he was doing with his three, clearly gifted boys. At first, Gabriel would play dumb or alternately, try to trip her up by knowing way more than a kid his age should, but as time went on, they all realized that the less people had cause to wonder about their unusual little family, the safer they all were.

When the curse first happened, it was clear that only Gabriel, being an archangel, had managed to keep a tiny bit of his power. He could touch anything that contained natural sugar and make it candy, for instance. As he aged, there was some hope that his ability to manipulate compounds and cells would grow, but it hadn't. He could heal a small cut, but not a big wound. If he tapped Bobby on the forehead in just the right way, he could make the old man forget what he'd had for breakfast, but after a few minutes, he'd remember again and yell at Gabriel for messin' with his head.

The worst loss for Castiel had been Angel Radio. He'd never explained to Dean (mostly because he didn't want to, but also because Dean never asked) that he could hear in his head everything Dean prayed directly to him, even if it was only Dean's inner monologue. Most people think prayers are somehow louder if they are spoken, but even prayers that are merely thought are heard the same, _if_ they were directed at him. Suppose Dean was worried about Sam, but not specifically praying to Cas about it, he could feel Dean's anxiety or fear, but not his specific thoughts. The difference meant that Cas could feel better about monitoring Dean's mental state without feeling like he was intruding on his privacy. Still, the intimate connection with Dean's brain wasn't something he let on about. 

Since the curse, though, Dean's thoughts and those of his siblings were completely cut off from him. The loneliness he felt from it had been crushing at first, which meant he cried a lot. Balthazar and Gabriel didn't have that kind of connection to a human soul, so they hadn't been as bothered by it. Although the three angels never strayed very far from each other anymore.

"Jordan, a hunter out of the Okanogan National Forrest in Washington called up saying he's had a sharp increase in Wendigo attacks. Hasn't been able to track it, but knew you boys had experience. Wanted to know if you could help." Bobby's voice was somewhat muffled as Cas listened close by the soot flue.

"Bobby, we just got home from a hunt in Wyoming. We can't go out again so soon. Last time we did a round-about trip, Cas stopped eating." Dean was checking weapons back into the trunk they kept them locked in ever since Gabriel tried to re-enact William Tell off Balthazar's head with the cross-bow. 

"You baby that boy too much. He'll eat when he's hungry." Bobby said,

"No, he won't. He never *gets* hungry, that's the problem. Their vessel's are actually growing now, so he needs to eat, even if he doesn't want to. Same goes for all of them, but only Cas gets all stubborn about it."

"I think Bobby's point is that when you give in to the tantrum, you provide incentive for Cas to keep doing it." Sam added, which earned him a withering look from his older brother.

"I know damn well what Bobby meant. You stay out of it." Dean's defensiveness when it came to parenting the angels was extremely touchy. Dean had practically raised Sam, so if there was one person he wouldn't take parenting advice from, it was his younger brother. Sam found this attitude extremely annoying, but kept quiet. Partly because it wasn't worth the fight and partly because he knew challenging Dean's parenting choices only brought up past stuff that they'd both rather stayed buried.

"Well, if you're so hot and bothered by it, then Sam and I'll go and you can play nursemaid." The edge in Bobby's voice indicated the high level of frustration the craggy old man was quickly ascending to.

"Look, we'll go," Dean conceded, "but in a few days. I told Cas I'd take him to the Delbridge Museum when we got back. Let me have a day and then Sammy and I can head out Tuesday night."

Castiel was touched that Dean wanted to keep his promise (they had an exhibit right now about how insects communicate that had a beehive with a plexiglass tunnel, so you could crawl right inside the hive), but also felt guilty that he was always the one causing tensions between the three men. That had been true before the curse, but when he had his power, he hadn't minded as much.

"Alright." Bobby gruffed. "But a better solution would be to break this fucking curse. I'm too old to be raisin' youngin's."

"I, uh, actually may have a line on that." Sam offered. Cas couldn't see them, but knew the other two men well enough to envision the looks they were now giving the younger Winchester.

"And?" Dean prompted with typical sass.

"Pamela texted me. She's found a book. Or someone she knows has. She's going to get it shipped here."

"Great. Who's the source?" Dean asked. Castiel was wondering the same thing. It would take a strong spell to undo what had been done. Hell, they'd been trying for five years. But a book of spells that strong would likely come from only one source; a wiccan.

"You're not gonna like it." Sam deflected.

"Clearly, from how evasive you're being. Please tell me it's not a witch."

"She's a wiccan." 

"Fucking Christ, Sam! We don't deal with witches. You know that!"

The boys were in full-blown fight mode now, which made Castiel's stomach twist. He hated it when they fought, but he really wanted to hear this.

"And *not* dealing with them has gotten us exactly nowhere, Dean! Besides, she's not a witch like we think of, she's wiccan and she's all the way over in England. Pamela trusts her. She knows where we stand on witches, but she told me this one is good."

"No such thing, Sam. And now she will know where we are and what we have on our hands. You think a power-hungry bitch isn't gonna want a piece of the mojo we have locked down right now?"

"It's a book Dean. She's not coming here herself. In fact, I guess she offered but Pamela figured you might end up quote, 'deskinned, because she's not real patient with misogynistic pretty boys.'endquote."

"Deskinned? What the fuck?"

"I'm not sure, but she got really pissed off and did that to some guy once. She's very powerful, but I guess she's good now."

"Great. I feel loads better."

"So, is she just sending this thing Federal Express or what?" Bobby asked.

"Don't know. I guess we'll know when it gets here." Sam's voice was low, in the way he gets when he's trying to calm Dean down.

"Friggin' witches." Cas heard the lid to the weapons chest slam shut and the heavy sounds of footsteps as Dean stormed out of the room.

&&&&&&

Two days later, Castiel was out in the yard showing Gabriel and Balthazar the bug vacuum that Dean had bought him during their trip to the museum.

"I'm surprised you wanna suck them up like that." Gabriel snorted as the boys gathered around a section of crab grass that was growing around one of the many junkers that covered the Singer Auto Parts lot.

"It doesn't hurt them Gabby. It pulls them into the viewing chamber. See? I can let them out again whenever I want."

"Just be careful not to suck up any wasps, Cassie. Somehow I don't think the ones with stingers will be so jolly keen on you interrupting their pollen dances." Balthazar was less interested in the bug thing than Gabriel was, but he liked Cas and always treated him better than the eldest angel did.

"I'll be careful Balthazar." Cas looked up at his brother and followed his gaze. There was a woman walking up the drive.

"Who's that?" Cas asked.

"Don't know, but damn, I'm gonna find out." Gabriel swaggered off. 

"She'll eat you for lunch and still have room for tea, Gabriel." Balthazar could tell just from looking that this bird wasn't going to have any of the oldest angel's shit.

"Hey boys. There a Sam Winchester around here somewhere?"

Running his hands through his hair, Gabriel stood as tall as he could, but the woman, who wasn't tall, still had several inches on him. "What can I do for a fine honey like yourself."

The beautiful brunette tilted her head, gave him a smile and said, "You can tell me where Sam Winchester is short-round or I'll use your face for a kick bag." She never stopped smiling, though Gabriel had lost his the minute she called him "short-round". He was a bit touchy about his vessel's height.

"Samuel's up in the house, love. Big green building. Can't miss it." Balthazar stepped in front of his older brother. Partly to help Gabriel save face, but mostly because this woman had just threatened his brother and that made Balthazar tense.

"A Limey, eh? Haven't heard that accent in, oh, two days. Don't y'all have your own country to flop around in?" Her green eyes met Balthazar's evenly, giving him some respect, but only a little. "Whateves. Thanks for the intel."

Pushing past them, they watched her continue walking up the driveway.

"She has power." Castiel said quietly, standing up and moving next to his brothers.

"She ain't all that." Gabriel sneered.

"No, Cas is right. She thrums with it. Don't take her lightly." As the youngest angel moved forward to follow her, Balthazar grabbed his elbow. "What are you going to do, Castiel?"

"Nothing. Just watching. I'm fine."

The other two angels watched as Cas walked up the driveway after the strange woman.

Twenty feet from the front porch, the woman stopped and turned towards Castiel. "You need something kid?"

"You're strong."

"Yeah."

Cas just looked at her for a moment, studying her. Her eyes held the same haunted look that Dean's did. The look of someone who had seen too much, done even worse, and was trying to follow a road of redemption they secretly knew they would never be granted. He didn't exactly like her, but for some reason, he did trust her.

"Let me get him." Cas jogged ahead and bounded up the stairs, yanking open the screen door. "SAM!!!!!! There's someone here! SAM?!?!?!"

In seconds, Sam was in the entry, the screen door having slammed behind Cas. "What's wrong Cas? You get stung again? Oh." He noticed the woman standing at the foot of the porch stairs. "Can I help you?" he asked, pushing on the screen and holding it open.

"Wow. If I'd known it was someone as fine as you I was looking up, I wouldn't have bitched so much at Red for making me come all the way out to Boonyville." Sam looked down, blushing a tad like he did whenever someone complimented him, but then seemed to regain himself.  
"Do I know you?"

"Nope. If you're Sam Winchester, well, then I've found my man. Too bad I can't take you home to play, but that ain't the job. Here." She pulled some folded up papers from her back pocket and gave them to him.

"Red said you were needing a spell. That's the translation. Her e-mail's at the top if you get stuck. She said even someone with no juice should be able to work it with the right ingredients and if you say it correctly. Notes are in the margin."

Confused, Sam looked over the sheets that were clearly images that had been uploaded and printed off. "I thought Pamela said it was a book."

"You think they're just gonna send an ancient spell book across the pond to Hee Haw Haven here?" The woman hitched her hip to the side as she looked around. 

Sam swallowed and looked hard at her. "This wasn't what I was expecting, that's all."

"Well, life is full of surprises, ain't it. See ya." She turned and started back down the stairs.

"Wait." Sam called out. "You wanna lift back to town or...or something?"

She smiled up at him. "Nah, I like the walk. Always on the job I guess."

"Are you a hunter?" Sam didn't think she was, but like Cas, he'd definitely picked up on her power.

"A demon hunter?" she laughed. "No, not exactly. That's what you are though huh? That's really cute."

Sam bristled at her calling his being a hunter cute. "Do I owe you, or, uh, Red anything for the spell?"

"Nope, we're Five by Five." Gabriel and Balthazar were now standing next to the porch too. "Later days kiddos." The angels and Sam watched her walk all the way down the drive. Not once did she look back, but from the shake of her hips, Sam could tell she knew they were watching.

"What the hell does Five by Five mean?" Gabriel asked Sam.

"No idea." Sam said as he went back into the house, looking over the papers she'd left him.

&&&&&

"Do you think this will work?" Dean asked distractedly as he was tossing clothes from the dryer straight into his duffle.

"It seems like any other spell or incantation we normally use. The only thing that makes me nervous is that it requires virgin blood. I sent an e-mail asking if the blood could be animal instead of human. She said it had to be human but could be offered willingly, which means we don't have to kill someone. We don't even need that much, but I guess it's necessary to over-ride the power of the witch that cast the spell." Sam was leaning against the post at the bottom of the basement stairs, watching his brother putter around.

"And you trust her?"

"Yeah, Dean. I do. We Skyped a bit. She kinda reminds me of Charlie a little. Anyway, she's funny, smart and just seemed normal."

"Did you ask her about her tendency to skin men?"

Sam rolled his eyes and kicked Dean's bag across the floor just to annoy his brother. "You really can be an ass, y'know. But now that I've met her, I don't doubt that he probably deserved it."

"You boning for a witch now? What is with you and monsters?" Dean squared up because he knew Sam might hit him and he wasn't *not* looking for a fight. Leaving the angels made him tense and punching things helped.

"Go to a bar or find a hooker, but don't take your shit out on me. I've got better things to do." Sam bounded back up the steps, taking them two at a time. Dean just started tossing more things into his bag with greater ferocity. Neither man noticed the pair of blue eyes watching them from the shadows under the stairs.

&&&&&

"I managed to swipe it from Sam's bag before they left." Castiel was looking over the pages Gabriel had brought him.

"Looks like everything needed for the spell is here at Bobby's." Cas squinted over the pages. His vision was fine, but it was the face he made when he was thinking.

"Except the virgin blood. Where are we gonna get that?" Balthazar asked.

"I say we tap Cassie here. He's the only one of us who hasn't pole danced in our vessels." Gabriel grabbed Balthazar's hips and made thrusting motions.

"Bite me." Cas snapped. "Unless you've been entertaining the sheep at the next farm over, all of our vessels are virgins now. Besides, I don't think we can use our own blood for a spell that affects us."

"So how are we going to get this precious fluid?" Balthazar asked, stepping back into his brother's gyrating hips, forcing Gabriel off-balance and then elbowing him to the floor.

"Think Bobby will let us go to the park by ourselves?" Castiel asked, his eyes glinting in a way that his brothers knew all too well.

&&&&&

"I feel like Uncle Creepy." Gabriel shifted on the park bench uncomfortably. "I'm, like, four years older than everyone here."

"Just pretend you are here watching me." Castiel offered.

"Which would be fine if you were out there playing, but instead we're just sitting here watching other kids play and hoping they will fight with each other." Gabriel looked to Balthazar for support, but his brother was just laying back, eyes closed and soaking up sun.

"Just wait. Eventually some tyke is gonna be a pain in the arse. They always are." Balthazar answered his brother's unspoken question without even opening his eyes. Castiel just watched them. He was sometimes jealous of how his two older brothers were so much more in tune with each other than either of them were with him.

"There we go." Cas spoke quietly and the other angels followed his gaze. Walking across the baseball field were five pre-teen boys, maybe 11 or 12. They weren't doing anything particularly strange, but even Gabriel felt something. Like he wanted to smite them on principal.

"You know them Cassie?" Gabriel asked.

"In a way. I came across them down by the creek a few months ago."

Balthazar sat up with immediate understanding. "That day, you came home, wet and bleeding across your eye. That was them, wasn't it. You didn't fall into the creek and hit a rock."

Cas gave his brother a side-ways glance. "No."

"What the hell, Cassie? Why did you lie about that?" Gabriel stood up.

Without moving his head, Cas shifted his eyes to his eldest brother. "Why do you think?"

"Dean would have gone ballistic." Balthazar said simply.

"My vessel is young and I wasn't as good at fighting back as I expected to be."

"So now we're gonna make them bleed, that it?" Gabriel looked back over to the boys, who had spotted Cas on the bench and altered course towards them.

"That is the general idea, yes."

"Bring it on." Gabriel gave them one his half-smirks and Balthazar couldn't help smiling too. "This will be a thrill." Cas stood up between his brothers, a faint smile forming as he fingered the corked test tube in his jacket pocket.

&&&&&

Dean's cell phone rang in his front pocket as he drove back along Interstate 90. Pulling it out, he glanced at the number. Not recognizing it, he tossed it to Sam. "Answer that will ya?"

"Hello." Sam answered. "Dean's driving Castiel. You can tell me whatever it is. Arrested? All of you?" Sam felt the phone scrape his ear as Dean grabbed it back.

"What the fuck is going on Cas?" Dean's voice echoing in the car.

"We've been arrested, Dean. Sheriff Mills told me to call Bobby, but I called you instead. Are you almost home?" Cas's voice didn't quiver until he got to the word home, which made Dean's gut clench.

"Almost, but not close enough to come bail you out. What did you do anyway?"

"Just got into a fight, but one of the mom's at the park called the police. We all got brought in but Gabriel, Balthatzar and I are still stuck here. We were hoping you could come get us. Bobby's anger can be....unpredictable."

Dean knew that Bobby's patience with the angles was much shorter than his own or Sam's, but he also knew from experience that Bobby was a fair man. He'd listen first before going off. "You're gonna have to call Bobby, Cas. Sam and I'll be home just after supper. You don't wanna sit in that jail cell until then."

"No, I s'pose not. But you will be home tonight?"

"Promise. Don't worry. We'll sort this out."

"Thanks Dean."

"Sure thing, buddy." Dean ended the call, tossed the phone at Sam wordlessly and floored the accelerator. Sam knew better than to ask anything just yet.

&&&&&

The three boys sat on the couch in the living room, watching silently as the three grown-ups argued.

"They were balls-to-ass stupid, Dean! I don't care why they did it; they put everything in danger by exposing themselves like that. All five of those kids have broken noses and they broke the jaw of the son of the county clerk! We do the spell now and how are they gonna show up to court suddenly all grown? And if they don't show at all, I got Jody on my case, never mind ending up in jail myself for abetting or whatever the prosecutor decides to hit me with. They went off half-cocked and now we're all fucked." Bobby was pacing with rage. Dean was standing closest to the couch but with his back to the boys. Sam leaned against the fireplace.

"Bobby, they were defending Cas! And they got enough blood to do the spell. Boys fight. Shit, the number of times I've made Sam bleed can't even be counted."

"Well, that ain't how the other boys tell it, nor the woman who called it in. Just 'cause we know what's true don't mean it's all fixed. What's more, this isn't the first cockeyed plan Castiel has cooked up. Damned idjit goes off on his own all the time, he lied about how he got hurt last month, and yet he always seems to play you with some kind of greater good. It's time for him to learn there are consequences to what he does, no matter why he does them."

"I think it's the kind of punishment that Dean's objecting to Bobby." Sam interjected.

"I can speak for myself Sammy." Dean growled, then looked back to Bobby. "I just don't think this is a time when a whuppin' is gonna do any good. Cas knows that he's messed up, even if his intentions were good." In a softer voice, he added, "He's just a kid, Bobby."

That last sentence made Castiel's insides curdle. Dean didn't think he could take the punishment Bobby wanted to dish out. Something within him made him stand up.

"Do whatever you think is best Bobby." Cas spoke clear and bold. Both his brother's stared at him. "Just not to them." He motioned to the other two angels. "It was all my idea and my revenge. I deserve recompense for what I've done. They don't."

Dean watched Cas walk over to Bobby and the straightness of his back and determination of his face triggered something inside himself. "You sure Cas?"

"Yes, Dean. I am."

"Alright son, follow me." Bobby said as he started to walk to the kitchen door.

"No." Dean's voice was strong, but low. "If this is gonna happen, it's gonna be me that does it." Dean's face was clearly challenging Bobby, but the older man merely nodded. Dean grabbed the back of Cas' shirt and gave a gentle shove.

"Let's go, Cas." Dean's hand never let go of Cas' shirt as he propelled the kid out the door to the barn.

&&&&&

Sam decided to busy himself with laundry when he noticed Gabriel standing on the bottom stair that led down to where the washer and dryer sat along the outside wall of the panic room.

"What is it?" Sam asked as he sorted through his and Dean's clothes, pulling socks and boxers out first.

"Will it hurt?" Gabriel asked. For all his bravado, Gabriel was the most vulnerable of all the angels when he let his guard down.

Sam almost asked him would what hurt, but realized that was stupid. They were both thinking about what was going to go down in the barn any minute.

"Yeah, it hurts. That's kinda the point. Dad and Bobby never doled out that level of punishment unless they were scared for us. They wanted to make an impression."

"In the garrison, doling out punishment was, as you'd say, the Family Business. We're on the side of the righteous. Never even thought about what it would be like on the other side. It made me kinda, well, freeze up. And now..." Sam understood all too well what Gabriel was saying.

"With Dad, Dean always stepped in to take the beat down. We both got in trouble lots of times, but if Dean started to feel that Dad was gonna get physical, he took over, saying it was all his fault so that Dad would to it to him and not me. Dad knew what Dean was doing, but let him because the effect was I behaved way better than Dean ever did, just to make sure he didn't have to get it."

"What will happen, um, out there?" Gabriel walked over and hopped on top of the dryer. Sam kept sorting clothes, not looking at him.

"Dad always spanked Dean bare-assed, using his hand. It was more humiliating that way, for both Dean and me. I would turn away and try to meld into the wall. Bobby used his belt but over clothing."

"It never happened to you, though?" Gabriel asked. Sam stopped and looked at him.

"Once. Dean and I were living here for the summer. Bobby was researching something at the library for Dad and Dean was off with a girl he'd met in town. I was bored, so I went out to the shop and decided to practice throwing an axe against the back wall. Tore it up to shreds. I knew I'd get in trouble for it, but seeing the wood splinter and hearing the sharp 'thwack' sound it made...just felt so good I didn't care. Dean came home first and saw what I'd done. He was trying to figure out if he could fix it or cover it up somehow when Bobby got back. Thing was, Bobby wasn't like Dad. He wouldn't let Dean cover for me or step in. He knew it was me that had done it and I was going to get the punishment. Dean was about 17 by then. I was pretty scared because I'd never been whupped before and I didn't know Bobby like I know him now. Dean knew everything I was feeling without me saying a word. 

"He put his hand across my shoulder, grabbing the back of my shirt and said, 'Sammy's my responsibility. I'll do it.' I was so relieved and almost smiled thinking Dean would never actually follow through when Bobby said, 'Fine. But his ass is red or else you boys gotta find a new place to be, understand?' I watched Dean nod at him and he said, 'Let's go Sammy' as he marched me out of the shop and across the yard to the barn.

"When we got there, he turned me around to face him. 'Keep your legs together and breathe out slow after each one. It'll hurt less.' I asked him how many he'd do and he said that he thought five would be enough. I gripped a wood slat on one of the stalls and closed my eyes. I could hear Dean unbuckle his belt and slide it out, and then he asked me if I was ready. I glanced over to the door and saw Bobby standing there. Knowing neither of us was going to get out of this made me feel like I needed to be strong, for Dean's sake if not my own. I straightened my back a little and said, 'Ready.'

"The first one hit me and I couldn't help but cry out. I hadn't expected it to be so hard, but with Bobby standing there, Dean was going to make sure that it was going to be enough that Bobby wouldn't decided he needed to do it after all. Just as I was remembering what Dean had said about breathing out, the second one landed. I grunted and swayed a bit. 'Breathe Sammy,' he said, though so low I later wondered if he'd actually said it. After the third, I was able to keep my head and breathe out. By the fourth, my eyes were stinging and then the fifth and it was over. I leaned against the stable wall for a minute and by the time I turned around, Dean was gone."

Gabriel's eyes held Sam's, sympathy resonating in them. "Were you mad at him?"

"A little. But I was more ashamed that he'd had to do it at all. Like I'd let him down. Which is what the punishment is really supposed to do when you think about it."

Gabriel hopped off the dryer and started to walk back up the stairs. 

"Gabriel." The angel paused. "Don't bother Castiel after. He probably won't want to talk about it." 

Gabriel gave Sam a withering look. "Back off Winchester. You know your brother, I know mine."

Sam bristled at the boy's sass, but decided to let it go. Everyone was tense today and sometimes, hell, most of the time, it didn't help to fan the flames.

&&&&&

Dean squeezed Cas' shoulder as they entered the barn. In the many years since the last time he'd had to do this, the barn had broken down from weather and lack of repair. He guided the young angel over to the workbench on the far wall, since the stable wall Sammy'd stood by was half gone. It made his heart clench to remember that day so long ago. Sammy had been twelve then, and much bigger than Castiel was now. He wasn't sure he could go through with this when he heard Bobby's voice, startled to realize he'd followed them out.

"I can do this, son. This isn't your way and we both know it."

"No, it ain't. But we're in your house and these are your ways. I'm not bailin' on him. He's my responsibility. But you need to leave. I do this, it's gonna be him and me."

"A'right. I'll go see what those other two idjits are up to." Bobby made like he was going to pat Dean's shoulder, then thought better of it and walked out.

When Dean was sure Bobby was gone, he said, "Cas, I know you think you know what you're doing here but you don't. This isn't some easy thing. For either of us."

Castiel squared his shoulders. "You don't think I can handle this do you? Stop treating me like a baby, Dean." He turned his back on Dean and started to undo his fly. 

"Keep your pants on you idiot." Dean barked. 

Cas paused. "But I thought..."

"I don't even want to know what you've heard or how you've heard it, but we do this my way, understand?"

Castiel nodded, re-buttoned his jeans and put his hands back on the workbench.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

Cas kept silent through it all, though by the time Dean was done, his eyes were red and he was panting lightly, trying to defuse the pain. It had hurt more than he expected, but it was when he looked at Dean that he felt the worst. Even with his back to Cas, the angel could see Dean wiping tears from his face as he threaded his belt back on. 

Glancing back at Cas, Dean said, "Don't ever put me in a position where I have to do that again. You hear me?" Cas muttered his agreement. 

"I need to hear you say it, Castiel." The use of his full name made Cas wince. "I said, I hear you," he spoke as loud and clear as he could, but this voice still cracked a bit.

Without another word, Dean left the barn. Castiel had thought the experience of physical punishment would somehow make him feel better, which was partly why he'd stepped up to receive it. That and because he wanted to prove something about himself to Dean. Instead of relief, though, he felt much, much worse. The roar of the Impala's engine and the sound of spinning tires and tossed gravel did nothing to improve the situation.

&&&&&

Dinner had been a silent affair. Dean had not returned and Cas found sitting down painful, so he'd stayed up in the attic. Balthazar had tried to make conversation, but found no one willing to engage, so they all ended up eating quickly and going to their respective rooms.

The other angels found Castiel lying on his stomach on his bedroll, drawing intricate diagrams of various kinds of bees. He had their anatomy memorized and could accurately detail the difference between workers, drones and queens. They sat down on either side of him.

"What happened out there Cassie?", Balthazar asked.

"Dean lashed me eight times across my ass with his belt." Cas' voice was hard-edged, but not angry.

"Better than flooding the world or turning you into salt." Gabriel offered. Balthazar gave him a look that would've put Sam's best bitchface on notice.

"Something else happened though. Dean drove off and hasn't come back and you're in hiding." Balthatzar laid a hand on Cas', stilling the drawing pencil.

Cas rolled onto his side, winced a little and then rolled back a bit, propping one arm out like a tripod. "When it was over, Dean was crying. He told me to never do anything that would mean he'd have whip me again and walked out. I was the one physically hurt, but Dean was the one in the most pain. I haven't been able to figure out why, if it bothered him so much, he didn't just let Bobby do it."

"I might know." Gabriel offered. Cas looked back at him, but was twisting in such a way that Gabriel took pity on him and jumped over next to his middle brother.

"I had a chat with Samuel downstairs. When we handed down wrath, it was a simple 'Behave or suffer' kind of thing. Straightforward, clean, cause/effect. But for them, disobedience is tied into love. Parents wish their children loved them enough to behave as expected. Children wish their parents loved them enough not to punish them. For the parent, punishment means disappointment in and causing pain to someone they love more than anything. For the child, punishment means shame in causing their parent to have to do it. And we all know how messed up the Winchesters are about love and letting each other down."

"Dean is emotionally complicated." Castiel agreed. 

"That is an understatement." Balthazar added, which made both Cas and Gabriel smile slightly.

&&&&&

The stillness of the May night meant that Cas could hear the roar of the Impala's engine long before it turned into the junkyard. He crept downstairs and was standing in the kitchen before Dean came in the back door. The clock on the microwave read 3:45. Cas stood with his back to the kitchen table and as Dean got closer he could smell whiskey and perfume, though Castiel didn't need either clue to know exactly what Dean had been doing all night.

"What are you up for?" Dean's voice slurred slightly but his movements were sure. He'd been drinking but wasn't drunk.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean's body softened and he pulled out a chair, sinking into it. "I know. Me too. I kinda hoped I'd be better at this whole Dad gig than I've turned out to be."

Ever since he'd been cursed into the body of a toddler, Castiel had enjoyed the fact that Dean was much more willing to cuddle him when he thought of him as a child. Using that to his advantage now, he wrapped both arms around Dean's neck and hugged him. It took some moments, but Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and returned the tight embrace. Cas broke the hug and sat down on Dean's thigh, wincing, but not getting up.

"I know it hurts. I wish it didn't, but honestly, you don't forget it. I remember every single whuppin' my Dad or Bobby doled out and every single thing I did to get it. Even so, I don't ever want to do that to you again. Capiche?"

"Yeah, I Capiche." Cas leaned against Dean's chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Will you tell me about them?"

"Some. Others, I'd just as soon not give you or your brothers ideas."

"Have I ruined it so we can't try the spell? Would Bobby really go to jail if we don't show up?"

"I don't know. We'll work on that problem tomorrow. For now, wanna watch some Tick on Nick-at-Nite?"

Castiel looked up, "Do whores sweat in church?"

Dean laughed, put one arm under Cas' knees and stood up, carrying the young boy in his arms. "I'm not a baby, Dean! Put me down!"

Laughing, Dean said, "Shhhh! You'll wake everyone. And when you get too big to carry, I'll quit carrying you. 'til then, shut your piehole."

"We gonna watch telly?" Balthazar asked, as Dean and Cas entered the family room. Gabriel already had the remote in his hand, punching in the channel for Nickelodeon.

"Y'all are determined to get my balls busted aren't you? Shut the hell up and yeah, we can."

"I didn't think Robert would be into ballstraps." Gabriel snarked.

Dean smacked the oldest angel upside his head. "Watch your mouth. And stop telling your brother about kinky shit."

"Dean's gonna tell us what he did to get whipped when he was younger." Cas plopped down next to Dean on the couch as Balthazar sat on Cas's other side and Gabriel perched on the arm of couch beside Dean.

"Do tell, Dean-o. " Balthazar said a bit excitedly.

Cartoons playing in the background, Dean began, "Alright, when Sammy was about seven, I decided we should learn how to break out of handcuffs..."

Gabriel noticed that Dean's arm was around Cas' shoulders and wondered if the man knew just how much his brother adored him. A glance at Balthazar told him that the other angel was wondering the same thing. Then, with a shrug, they both focused on Dean's unfolding tale.


End file.
